Okay I didn't think I would be blogging during my RL vacation but after being directed to a post from Emerald Wynn where she discusses the appeal (and issues) with SL relationships and how they effect RL. If you haven't read it, please do take a look. She certainly puts into words what a lot of folks have thought about the concept and I commend her for her honesty.
So of course I get asked on many occasions by folks, "How can you even think about an SL relationship when you're already married IRL to someone else?"
The answer to that can be very difficult to explain but I will do my best to explain it. I don't expect those who read this post to completely understand or even agree with my opinions, but I do wish that you do read it and at least give it a thought.
To start with, I met my husband first IRL almost 20 years ago... and then later online through mutual online friends. It wasn't a Romeo & Juliet scenario by any means but more like a Harry & Sally deal where it took us -years- to sort things out and eventually get together. In the meanwhile, he and I continued to hang out online and meet other people. Over time due to scenarios in online roleplay games and MMORPGS, we learned that we could separate what we do online and offline.
Did this come easy? Oh hell no. We argued many a time over stuff that happened and lines that potentially could have been crossed, but in the end we decided that no matter what happens we would be honest with each other. Of course you can't be -completely- honest because there's just some things that are private between the other people involved, but in general we do talk about things we do online and have a general understanding.
Suffice it to say, yes he does know about Wyatt, Ozark, and UCBlack and he and I talk about them like he was a guy friend asking about what I'm doing with my boyfriend. I am the same with his online girlfriends.
This, by no means, is a typical RL relationship as many in this same situation would be jealous and/or uncomfortable with the emotions that are involved in both worlds. I am extremely lucky to have such a wonderful person in my RL whom I can share so much and yet we can also enjoy our virtual lives without the anxiety that many others feel.
That being said, I do not regret anything I have experienced between myself and Wyatt, myself and Ozark or myself and UCBlack because I feel that love is quite possible with different people on different levels.
4 other thoughts:
All i can say is, you are one very lucky woman and I wish my RL partner would be as understanding as your husband :)
And as a former lover and still a good friend, I would like to add it always was a pleasure talking about just that RL you are refering to. You RL husband must be a wise guy, chosing a wonderful lady. Sometimes I wished he was with us, being that friend guy, just to have a good time. Please, say hi from me to him. And make sure he feels the warm feelings for both of you....
Thank you both for the warm words. :-) He is indeed one in a million...
Very wonderful explanation, Guenevere. You are extremely lucky. Thank you so much. :)
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