I wish she were my kid. ;-)
12/30/2011 |
Category:
Awesome
|
0
Other Thoughts
I've mentioned a few times before on this blog that there are very few true coincidences out there. Sometimes you find intersecting threads of life that simply cannot be ignored. When something like this happens, you know that there's some higher power out there who's trying to guide you down a specific path.
I had one of these experiences yesterday while having various conversations with SL friends. Over the course of the day, I had no less than 5 different people talk with me about the importance of ethics and being strong and courageous enough to tell other people that what they are doing is wrong. The convos spoke of varying sides and degrees of this concept, but in the end it all came down to never giving up because your beliefs and ethics are one of the few things people cannot take away from you (even as much as they may try). In the end, a change in those beliefs can only come from personal choice.
I know I've made quite a few choices in the past few years that no every one, not even my own RL family, can seem to fully understand. Still... I do feel at the time it was the best choice to make, even at the sacrifice of financial security and wellbeing. While there may be some lingering "what if" regrets in my mind, I do think that ultimately it was worth the risk.
The hardest thing to acknowledge is that while defending your ethics is very honorable, there is often also a great deal of struggle involved. Look at many of the great men and women in history who struck out against the "norm of society" with their own beliefs... some for good and some for not so good. They did so with plenty of sacrifice in their lives, and more often than not with their own death by the hand of those who oppose such radical ideals.
Maybe it'll take months, years or decades to fully understand what was ticking around in that person's mind... but in the end he or she will be remembered most for not straying from the path and their own choice.
So yes... while making that choice is done with great risk, it will eventually be understood and admired. Never lose hope...
I made a huge decision on Sunday...
I won't bore you all with the gorey details except to say that there are a few very good reasons as to why Sanctuary Rock is no longer listed on my sidebar. I already know that my decision has not been received highly by a few people, and I'm sure a few others will see me as catty and self-centered.
That's fine. You've got a right to your own opinion... but so do I.
I finally realized that clinging to to past was only going to continue making me miserable. Yes there were also many moments of joy in-between the bits if sadness, but I have to finally drop all that and find a much happier state of mind overall.
There may be differences of opinion and varying sides of the story involved with this... but there always have been. One person's happiness is another person's agony, I guess.
it's just time to just move on and leave that emotional roller coaster dead in its tracks.
While I was perusing Plurk this morning, I caught a post from Rayvn Hynes that has proven there is still some hope left for Humanity at large...
Anonymous donors pay off Kmart layaway accounts
Because of these people and their amazing generosity, many more children can enjoy a true Christmas or Hanukkah this year. Especially with the state of today's economy, this is truly a blessing.
My only wish is that this type of kindness wouldn't be limited to just around the Holiday Season. But at least this is a wonderful step in the right direction. :-)
This song is like my anthem as it fits my general mood lately...
12/14/2011 |
Category: |
0
Other Thoughts
Make New Friends
But Keep the Old
One is Silver
And the Other's Gold
This theme of old and new friends has been popping up a lot for me lately. I often say that things of this magnitude do not happen on accident, and this is no exception.
The whole cycle started with an SL Hunt, believe it not. The Hunt is meant to inspire friendship in all its forms and it even based on the rhyme above. Thought it was a very cute idea and even got inspired for a Hunt Prize...
Didn't think much of the necklace until I got a very nice compliment from Mirari about it. Nevertheless, this became some sort of catalyst to which a cacophony of other events have sprung forth.
For starters I've had some old friends whom I'd recently lost contact with on SL sudden;y spring up out of the woodwork like the owner of the very first Club I ever DJ'ed at on SL. Was quite a shock since I had not spoken to him in over 2 years, but it was also nice to know that he still considers me a close friend after all this time.
I also finally gave in and joined Plurk last week. I'm hoping it'll help in terms of extra promotion for events I'm doing in SL. Link's on the sidebar if you want to add to my insanity, btw. ;-)
I also got to see the wonderful impact of another close friend, Marx Dudek, and how she's become so special to so many others.
Her 4th Rez Day party was totally on the spur of the moment... and yet the place was filled to the brim with all sorts of guys, gals, skunks, goats, aliens, robots and of course... bunnies! By the end I think Marx was blushing and smiling so much that her face is probably still hurting now. I've had the rare privilege to get to know her IRL as well, and trust me she's just as spectacular. :-)
Unfortunately, not all of the reminders of friendship have been good ones. Thursday evening, in particular, was a -very- bad day and part of it was certainly my own fault. When you have someone do multiple posts on Facebook about being pissed off... you know you did something really bad. I know that I wasn't the total cause, but it did hurt to see those reactions. Goes to show that taking some deep breaths is best before you go and say something completely stupid... especially to someone who has already been having a bad week to begin with.
Hopefully there will be a way to make peace... but that remains to be seen.
...for sheer Cello awesomeness.
I never knew Vader took accordion lessons. ;-)
I never knew Vader took accordion lessons. ;-)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
We've reached the end of a long journey through vocabulary and thoughts that have been in my head for quite some time.
Somehow I managed to be the 4th person to start and the 1st to finish. Do be sure to check out everyone else's posts as they also journey through each letter.
For me it's time to rest for a short while...
We've reached the end of a long journey through vocabulary and thoughts that have been in my head for quite some time.
Somehow I managed to be the 4th person to start and the 1st to finish. Do be sure to check out everyone else's posts as they also journey through each letter.
For me it's time to rest for a short while...
Yearn
verb (used without object)
1.
to have an earnest or strong desire; long: to yearn for a quiet vacation.
2.
to feel tenderness; be moved or attracted: They yearned over their delicate child.
-----------------------------
When I first did that 'Analyze your writing' badge on the right, I had no idea who David Foster Wallace was beyond a potential distant relative of mine. Reading more about his biography, it turns out that after writing a series of satirical essays about the modern world... he unfortunately fell into a deep depression and hanged himself in 2008. He was taking all sorts of anti-depressants to counteract this condition, but in the end he eventually just... gave up.
I heard even more recently about a RL friend of someone I know quite well on Second Life who attempted (and fortunately failed) to commit suicide. Why this person attempted it is not certain, and I don't feel that it's my place to ask and bring back such a painful memory just for further explanation.
About a year ago, I was told by yet another close friend on Second Life that her sister committed suicide and left 2 young children behind. She, then, had to fill the void that her sister had left and raise the kids for her.
-----------------------------
I've personally hit 2 extreme lows in my life where I contemplated suicide as well. The first was during the period I mentioned in my previous post. Between my mother's slow deterioration of health, the bullying at school, and eventually my father getting remarried so quickly... I was a mess. It got so bad that my dad and stepmom eventually sent me off to a Psychologist to try and get me to settle down. Yes folks, I went to a Shrink for a year and a half. Does that make me certifiably crazy? Possibly. I went despite initial protest (as teens often do), and it was kept completely secret from my classmates. It helped to a degree, but it was brief.
The second low came from a relationship I had with someone during the end of my college years which then continued shortly after graduation. He was in an abusive household, and unfortunately the habits passed down to his generation. We fought often, and yes it would get physical. He even nearly killed me once over a box of Magic: The Gathering cards I threw in the trash because I felt he should spend his money on better things. Even after he got me pregnant I had this deep dread that bringing a child into that household would be a death trap. A few times I felt that it would be mercy to both the child and myself to just end it all, but eventually some miracle happened where I was able to keep the baby and then give her to a family who would love and take care of her. It was a hard decision, but I feel even now that it was the right one.
My daughter turned 14 this year, and I haven't seen her since she was 6 months old... but I have a feeling that one day I will.
-----------------------------
What causes people to decide to end their life is as various as the people themselves, but I think the most common reason is a simple yearning to be loved and not feel so alone. I do feel blessed to be where I am today, but in knowing that others have not been as fortunate... I cannot help but shed tears for their own sorrow.
verb (used without object)
1.
to have an earnest or strong desire; long: to yearn for a quiet vacation.
2.
to feel tenderness; be moved or attracted: They yearned over their delicate child.
-----------------------------
When I first did that 'Analyze your writing' badge on the right, I had no idea who David Foster Wallace was beyond a potential distant relative of mine. Reading more about his biography, it turns out that after writing a series of satirical essays about the modern world... he unfortunately fell into a deep depression and hanged himself in 2008. He was taking all sorts of anti-depressants to counteract this condition, but in the end he eventually just... gave up.
I heard even more recently about a RL friend of someone I know quite well on Second Life who attempted (and fortunately failed) to commit suicide. Why this person attempted it is not certain, and I don't feel that it's my place to ask and bring back such a painful memory just for further explanation.
About a year ago, I was told by yet another close friend on Second Life that her sister committed suicide and left 2 young children behind. She, then, had to fill the void that her sister had left and raise the kids for her.
-----------------------------
I've personally hit 2 extreme lows in my life where I contemplated suicide as well. The first was during the period I mentioned in my previous post. Between my mother's slow deterioration of health, the bullying at school, and eventually my father getting remarried so quickly... I was a mess. It got so bad that my dad and stepmom eventually sent me off to a Psychologist to try and get me to settle down. Yes folks, I went to a Shrink for a year and a half. Does that make me certifiably crazy? Possibly. I went despite initial protest (as teens often do), and it was kept completely secret from my classmates. It helped to a degree, but it was brief.
The second low came from a relationship I had with someone during the end of my college years which then continued shortly after graduation. He was in an abusive household, and unfortunately the habits passed down to his generation. We fought often, and yes it would get physical. He even nearly killed me once over a box of Magic: The Gathering cards I threw in the trash because I felt he should spend his money on better things. Even after he got me pregnant I had this deep dread that bringing a child into that household would be a death trap. A few times I felt that it would be mercy to both the child and myself to just end it all, but eventually some miracle happened where I was able to keep the baby and then give her to a family who would love and take care of her. It was a hard decision, but I feel even now that it was the right one.
My daughter turned 14 this year, and I haven't seen her since she was 6 months old... but I have a feeling that one day I will.
-----------------------------
What causes people to decide to end their life is as various as the people themselves, but I think the most common reason is a simple yearning to be loved and not feel so alone. I do feel blessed to be where I am today, but in knowing that others have not been as fortunate... I cannot help but shed tears for their own sorrow.
Xerox
1.
Trademark . a brand name for a copying machine for reproducing printed, written, or pictorial matter by xerography.
noun
2.
( sometimes lowercase ) a copy made on a xerographic copying machine.
verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
3.
( sometimes lowercase ) to print or reproduce by xerography.
-----------------------------
I was actually dreading doing a post on X since there's so few words in any language that start with it, but thanks to Sundevil I actually did think up one to lead me into a topic I briefly mentioned in the last post. :-)
Social Chameleonism...
As Sun already explained, a social chameleon is someone who is capable of adapting to not only his or her surroundings but also the people in those surroundings. This often involves a commonality of interests and the ability to shift easily from topic to topic depending who you're talking to.
It's like say... if you're at a party with a lawyer, a politician, a musician and an artist, you can stand there and still manage to have an intelligent conversation with every single one of them. Not many people can pull that off effectively.
Now, another blog post has mentioned that in being a Social Chameleon you lose your sense of being unique. I do see how she can think this, but I think she is simply seeing it from the perspective of someone who has made so much effort to be her own person and to not blend in. I personally think that she missed the point. She stresses balance, but doesn't understand that in learning to appreciate different cultures... that IS a form of balance. She is, of course, entitled to her opinion.
But I digress...
I've kind of turned into a Jack-of-all-trades myself over the years. Mostly because it was always just easier to learn and do things on your own. Truthfully it has done very well for me until I get bogged down with too much work. But still, you get to work on your own schedule, you are very aware of your own abilities, and furthermore you're the only one to blame if something gets screwed up. ;-) Just makes things more simple that way.
As far as being social with different sorts of people, there's a fine line between being a Chameleon and being a Xerox machine. A Chameleon can change its colors to blend in with a tree or rock and do so effortlessly. Despite all the colors some species can shift into, it's still a lizard and will always be one. A Xerox machine takes the original image of an apple and duplicates it over and over again. There may be some slight flaws with each copy, but for the most part it's the same apple without any way to say... change to an orange later on.
Social Chameleons are still the same people underneath with their own ideas and beliefs. They simply know when to change color within different environments... and do so without becoming a Xerox copy of someone else. In a sense, you become an individual by way of adapting and learning from others.
-----------------------------
I went through school pretty much like Sundevil did. I was never really part of any specific 'clique' for very long even though I was in things like Band, Drama Productions, Art Enrichment, Science Club, Academic Decathalon and Christian Youth Organizations... just to name a few. I remember once a girl in Middle School asked me if I was "popular", and my answer as a 14 year old who had been ridiculed and bullied for most of her youth was, 'Yes, but for the wrong reasons.' The other girl laughed at me as if I didn't get the point, but looking back I think -she- didn't get the point.
My 8th grade year in particular was especially horrendous. Behind the scenes, my Mother was in and out of the hospital for cancer treatments much more frequently. Because of all the hospital care, my parents couldn't afford many nice things for me. So yes I got teased about my clothes and hair constantly. I got harassed about other things that I'd done (or not done) too and pretty much was the laughing stock of the whole class. So yes... I was popular to the point that people knew to tease me, but not because I was a cheerleader or athlete.
By the time high school hit, I'd lost my Mother and many of the assholes who'd teased me before moved up with me. Of course then I made a few more mistakes, and earned some more ridicule. I'm kind of surprised now that I didn't end up either running away from home or committing suicide, though those thoughts did happen sometimes.
During my sophomore year my Dad remarried and we moved across town... which meant a new high school and a way to "start over". After all the bad experiences I had before, my strategy at this new school was to blend in and be as invisible as possible. For the most part it worked, though not without a lot of effort. I still had an occasional bit of teasing, but by then I learned to fight back.
-----------------------------
So basically, my own Social Chameleonism came from a sense of survival within a harsh environment, and later evolved into a desire to further understand what makes different people tick. Maybe in my own way, I wanted to prove to myself that not everyone in the world can be as close minded and cruel as these kids were. Since then I've seen both sides of humanity... and even though I've managed to blend, learn and grow, I'll always be my own person whom has been shaped a molded gradually over time by each person I've come in contact with.
1.
Trademark . a brand name for a copying machine for reproducing printed, written, or pictorial matter by xerography.
noun
2.
( sometimes lowercase ) a copy made on a xerographic copying machine.
verb (used with object), verb (used without object)
3.
( sometimes lowercase ) to print or reproduce by xerography.
-----------------------------
I was actually dreading doing a post on X since there's so few words in any language that start with it, but thanks to Sundevil I actually did think up one to lead me into a topic I briefly mentioned in the last post. :-)
Social Chameleonism...
As Sun already explained, a social chameleon is someone who is capable of adapting to not only his or her surroundings but also the people in those surroundings. This often involves a commonality of interests and the ability to shift easily from topic to topic depending who you're talking to.
It's like say... if you're at a party with a lawyer, a politician, a musician and an artist, you can stand there and still manage to have an intelligent conversation with every single one of them. Not many people can pull that off effectively.
Now, another blog post has mentioned that in being a Social Chameleon you lose your sense of being unique. I do see how she can think this, but I think she is simply seeing it from the perspective of someone who has made so much effort to be her own person and to not blend in. I personally think that she missed the point. She stresses balance, but doesn't understand that in learning to appreciate different cultures... that IS a form of balance. She is, of course, entitled to her opinion.
But I digress...
I've kind of turned into a Jack-of-all-trades myself over the years. Mostly because it was always just easier to learn and do things on your own. Truthfully it has done very well for me until I get bogged down with too much work. But still, you get to work on your own schedule, you are very aware of your own abilities, and furthermore you're the only one to blame if something gets screwed up. ;-) Just makes things more simple that way.
As far as being social with different sorts of people, there's a fine line between being a Chameleon and being a Xerox machine. A Chameleon can change its colors to blend in with a tree or rock and do so effortlessly. Despite all the colors some species can shift into, it's still a lizard and will always be one. A Xerox machine takes the original image of an apple and duplicates it over and over again. There may be some slight flaws with each copy, but for the most part it's the same apple without any way to say... change to an orange later on.
Social Chameleons are still the same people underneath with their own ideas and beliefs. They simply know when to change color within different environments... and do so without becoming a Xerox copy of someone else. In a sense, you become an individual by way of adapting and learning from others.
-----------------------------
I went through school pretty much like Sundevil did. I was never really part of any specific 'clique' for very long even though I was in things like Band, Drama Productions, Art Enrichment, Science Club, Academic Decathalon and Christian Youth Organizations... just to name a few. I remember once a girl in Middle School asked me if I was "popular", and my answer as a 14 year old who had been ridiculed and bullied for most of her youth was, 'Yes, but for the wrong reasons.' The other girl laughed at me as if I didn't get the point, but looking back I think -she- didn't get the point.
My 8th grade year in particular was especially horrendous. Behind the scenes, my Mother was in and out of the hospital for cancer treatments much more frequently. Because of all the hospital care, my parents couldn't afford many nice things for me. So yes I got teased about my clothes and hair constantly. I got harassed about other things that I'd done (or not done) too and pretty much was the laughing stock of the whole class. So yes... I was popular to the point that people knew to tease me, but not because I was a cheerleader or athlete.
By the time high school hit, I'd lost my Mother and many of the assholes who'd teased me before moved up with me. Of course then I made a few more mistakes, and earned some more ridicule. I'm kind of surprised now that I didn't end up either running away from home or committing suicide, though those thoughts did happen sometimes.
During my sophomore year my Dad remarried and we moved across town... which meant a new high school and a way to "start over". After all the bad experiences I had before, my strategy at this new school was to blend in and be as invisible as possible. For the most part it worked, though not without a lot of effort. I still had an occasional bit of teasing, but by then I learned to fight back.
-----------------------------
So basically, my own Social Chameleonism came from a sense of survival within a harsh environment, and later evolved into a desire to further understand what makes different people tick. Maybe in my own way, I wanted to prove to myself that not everyone in the world can be as close minded and cruel as these kids were. Since then I've seen both sides of humanity... and even though I've managed to blend, learn and grow, I'll always be my own person whom has been shaped a molded gradually over time by each person I've come in contact with.
Wonder
verb (used without object)
1.
to think or speculate curiously: to wonder about the origin of the solar system.
2.
to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel (often followed by at ): He wondered at her composure in such a crisis.
3.
to doubt: I wonder if she'll really get here.
verb (used with object)
4.
to speculate curiously or be curious about; be curious to know: to wonder what happened.
5.
to feel wonder at: I wonder that you went.
noun
6.
something strange and surprising; a cause of surprise, astonishment, or admiration: That building is a wonder. It is a wonder he declined such an offer.
7.
the emotion excited by what is strange and surprising; a feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration: He felt wonder at seeing the Grand Canyon.
8.
miraculous deed or event; remarkable phenomenon.
Idiom
9.
for a wonder, as the reverse of what might be expected; surprisingly: For a wonder, they worked hard all day.
-----------------------------
Yeah I know I've talked about Joe vs the Volcano before including the monumental scene that always makes me tear up. Still, the movie has a point even though often people don't 'get it'. You learn to appreciate what many consider to be insignificant in our daily lives. Truthfully it doesn't take much to make us smile, laugh, or just have a nice warm feeling inside.
A perfect example of this was just posted yesterday over at Sundevildaddy's blog. Yes it's long, but well worth the read... trust me. I may not be able to fully relate to what he experienced, but it does give me a whole new insight into what makes him the man he is. Thank you, Sun, for sharing such an intimate part of yourself with everyone else. It is certainly appreciated. :-)
And I'm also a Social Chameleon, btw, but I'll talk more about that in another post...
Anyways I'm not gonna overshadow Sun's post. Instead I'll leave you with another article that makes you think about how few people take time to just enjoy the beauty that life can offer.
verb (used without object)
1.
to think or speculate curiously: to wonder about the origin of the solar system.
2.
to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel (often followed by at ): He wondered at her composure in such a crisis.
3.
to doubt: I wonder if she'll really get here.
verb (used with object)
4.
to speculate curiously or be curious about; be curious to know: to wonder what happened.
5.
to feel wonder at: I wonder that you went.
noun
6.
something strange and surprising; a cause of surprise, astonishment, or admiration: That building is a wonder. It is a wonder he declined such an offer.
7.
the emotion excited by what is strange and surprising; a feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration: He felt wonder at seeing the Grand Canyon.
8.
miraculous deed or event; remarkable phenomenon.
Idiom
9.
for a wonder, as the reverse of what might be expected; surprisingly: For a wonder, they worked hard all day.
-----------------------------
My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.~ Meg Ryan in "Joe vs the Volcano"
Yeah I know I've talked about Joe vs the Volcano before including the monumental scene that always makes me tear up. Still, the movie has a point even though often people don't 'get it'. You learn to appreciate what many consider to be insignificant in our daily lives. Truthfully it doesn't take much to make us smile, laugh, or just have a nice warm feeling inside.
A perfect example of this was just posted yesterday over at Sundevildaddy's blog. Yes it's long, but well worth the read... trust me. I may not be able to fully relate to what he experienced, but it does give me a whole new insight into what makes him the man he is. Thank you, Sun, for sharing such an intimate part of yourself with everyone else. It is certainly appreciated. :-)
And I'm also a Social Chameleon, btw, but I'll talk more about that in another post...
Anyways I'm not gonna overshadow Sun's post. Instead I'll leave you with another article that makes you think about how few people take time to just enjoy the beauty that life can offer.
